For Kaspar-Williams, pregnancy did not automatically create gender dysphoria.
Instead, he said the most difficult moments came when he was receiving medical care and nurses repeatedly assumed he was a woman because he was pregnant.
“The only thing that made me dysphoric about my pregnancy was the misgendering that happened to me when I was getting medical care for my pregnancy,” he said.
Kaspar-Williams said he had identified his gender on medical forms, yet nursing staff continued to refer to him using language associated with women and motherhood.
Being repeatedly called “mom” was particularly difficult.
For someone who had spent years transitioning and establishing his identity as a man, hearing medical professionals repeatedly use language that contradicted that identity made an already vulnerable experience even more challenging.
And because pregnancy involves frequent interactions with doctors, nurses and other healthcare workers, avoiding those situations was not an option.
He argued that pregnancy and motherhood should not automatically be treated as interchangeable concepts.
Speaking to the New York Post, Kaspar-Williams described how difficult it was to escape gendered assumptions during pregnancy and childbirth.
“The business of pregnancy—and yes, I say business, because the entire institution of pregnancy care in America is centred around selling this concept of ‘motherhood’—is so intertwined with gender that it was hard to escape being misgendered,” he said.
For him, the experience raised a larger question about how society talks about pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood.
Kaspar-Williams also emphasized that the ability to become pregnant is not guaranteed simply because someone was born with a uterus.
“No one can ever really know whether having children is possible until you try—being born with a uterus doesn’t make conceiving or carrying a certainty,” he said.
“That’s why it’s so important that we stop defining ‘womanhood’ in terms of ‘motherhood,’ because it’s a false equivalency that all women can become mothers, that all mothers carry their children, or that all people who carry children are mothers.”
His experience, he says, demonstrated why language matters, particularly in medical settings where patients can already feel vulnerable, exposed or anxious.
For Kaspar-Williams, becoming pregnant did not change the fact that he identified as a man. Carrying his child was a decision he made as part of his journey toward becoming a parent—not a decision to redefine his gender.
In October 2020, he and Malik welcomed Hudson into their lives.
Years later, Kaspar-Williams continues to speak about the experience and the importance of allowing people to define their own identities and their own relationships with parenthood.
In a 2023 post celebrating Hudson’s third birthday, Kaspar-Williams shared a heartfelt message about their family.
“This sweet guy is 3 years old today! Malik Kaspar-Williams and I are so lucky to be his parents,” he wrote.
Hudson’s arrival ultimately became a major chapter in Kaspar-Williams’ life, but the experience also placed him at the centre of a broader conversation about gender, pregnancy, childbirth and the language used in healthcare.
His story highlights how complicated those issues can become when traditional assumptions about motherhood collide with an individual’s gender identity.
For Kaspar-Williams, the central message is simple: pregnancy does not have to determine someone’s gender, and giving birth does not automatically make someone a mother.
The story continues to prompt discussion about how medical professionals address transgender and non-binary patients—and how small changes in language can have a significant impact on someone during one of the most vulnerable periods of their life.
What are your thoughts on Kaspar-Williams’ experience? Let us know in the comments.
Instead, he said the most difficult moments came when he was receiving medical care and nurses repeatedly assumed he was a woman because he was pregnant.
“The only thing that made me dysphoric about my pregnancy was the misgendering that happened to me when I was getting medical care for my pregnancy,” he said.
Kaspar-Williams said he had identified his gender on medical forms, yet nursing staff continued to refer to him using language associated with women and motherhood.
Being repeatedly called “mom” was particularly difficult.
For someone who had spent years transitioning and establishing his identity as a man, hearing medical professionals repeatedly use language that contradicted that identity made an already vulnerable experience even more challenging.
And because pregnancy involves frequent interactions with doctors, nurses and other healthcare workers, avoiding those situations was not an option.
‘It was hard to escape being misgendered’
Following Hudson’s birth, Kaspar-Williams began speaking more openly about his experience and advocating for a broader understanding of parenthood—particularly the idea that giving birth does not automatically determine a person’s gender or parental identity.He argued that pregnancy and motherhood should not automatically be treated as interchangeable concepts.
Speaking to the New York Post, Kaspar-Williams described how difficult it was to escape gendered assumptions during pregnancy and childbirth.
“The business of pregnancy—and yes, I say business, because the entire institution of pregnancy care in America is centred around selling this concept of ‘motherhood’—is so intertwined with gender that it was hard to escape being misgendered,” he said.
For him, the experience raised a larger question about how society talks about pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood.
Kaspar-Williams also emphasized that the ability to become pregnant is not guaranteed simply because someone was born with a uterus.
“No one can ever really know whether having children is possible until you try—being born with a uterus doesn’t make conceiving or carrying a certainty,” he said.
Separating motherhood from womanhood
Kaspar-Williams believes that one of the most important changes in the way society discusses pregnancy is separating the biological ability to carry a child from assumptions about gender.“That’s why it’s so important that we stop defining ‘womanhood’ in terms of ‘motherhood,’ because it’s a false equivalency that all women can become mothers, that all mothers carry their children, or that all people who carry children are mothers.”
His experience, he says, demonstrated why language matters, particularly in medical settings where patients can already feel vulnerable, exposed or anxious.
For Kaspar-Williams, becoming pregnant did not change the fact that he identified as a man. Carrying his child was a decision he made as part of his journey toward becoming a parent—not a decision to redefine his gender.
In October 2020, he and Malik welcomed Hudson into their lives.
Years later, Kaspar-Williams continues to speak about the experience and the importance of allowing people to define their own identities and their own relationships with parenthood.
In a 2023 post celebrating Hudson’s third birthday, Kaspar-Williams shared a heartfelt message about their family.
“This sweet guy is 3 years old today! Malik Kaspar-Williams and I are so lucky to be his parents,” he wrote.
Hudson’s arrival ultimately became a major chapter in Kaspar-Williams’ life, but the experience also placed him at the centre of a broader conversation about gender, pregnancy, childbirth and the language used in healthcare.
His story highlights how complicated those issues can become when traditional assumptions about motherhood collide with an individual’s gender identity.
For Kaspar-Williams, the central message is simple: pregnancy does not have to determine someone’s gender, and giving birth does not automatically make someone a mother.
The story continues to prompt discussion about how medical professionals address transgender and non-binary patients—and how small changes in language can have a significant impact on someone during one of the most vulnerable periods of their life.
What are your thoughts on Kaspar-Williams’ experience? Let us know in the comments.
