“She can never know.”
I froze halfway out of the bedroom.
Three weeks after giving birth, I was exhausted almost all the time. Sleep had become something I desperately needed but rarely got enough of. Yet those four words woke me faster than my newborn daughter ever could.
My mother-in-law was downstairs.
I hadn’t invited her.
I hadn’t even known she was coming.
Then I remembered the emergency key Caleb and I had given her after the baby was born.
A few minutes earlier, I had finally managed to get my daughter to sleep.
Getting her down that afternoon had taken forever. She had been fussy, restless, and determined not to close her eyes. The second she finally did, I lay down beside her and passed out.
I don’t know how long I had been asleep when voices downstairs woke me.
At first, I assumed Caleb had come home early from work.
Then I heard his mother’s voice.
I slowly sat on the edge of the bed and listened.
“And what happens when she goes back to work?”
“We’ll figure it out,” Caleb replied.
“You said you’d handle this.”
“Mom, keep your voice down. She’s sleeping.”
I stood.
There was a brief silence.
Then my mother-in-law lowered her voice.
“She can never know.”
That was enough.
I went straight downstairs.
The second I stepped into the kitchen, both of them stopped talking.
Caleb looked startled.
His mother recovered much faster.
“What can I never know?”
Neither answered.
Caleb just stared at me.
His mother finally sighed.
“I came over to talk about the baby.”
“With my husband?” I asked. “While I’m asleep?”
“You need help, especially once you go back to work.”
I immediately knew where this was going.
Ever since our daughter was born, my mother-in-law had been pushing to take care of her instead of us using daycare.
I’d thanked her more than once for offering.
But Caleb and I had already made a decision.
Or at least, I thought we had.
“I can take her five days a week,” she said. “There’s no reason to pay strangers when I’m available.”
“We already have daycare arranged.”
She looked directly at Caleb.
“You didn’t tell her?”
I turned toward my husband.
“Tell me what?”
“Jess…” Caleb rubbed the back of his neck. “Let’s talk about this later.”
“Caleb.”
He exhaled.
Then he admitted it.
He had canceled our daycare spot.
For a moment, I honestly thought I’d misunderstood him.
“You did what?”
“I canceled it.”
“Without telling me?”
“I was going to.”
“When?”
“Before you went back to work.”
